Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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