The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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