So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
