oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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