cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
