OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
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