haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize