i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
