I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
