I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
