Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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