The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
