how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
