Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
please come you make the beer taste better
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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