great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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