is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
BRING THE BAGELS
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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