Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
