it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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