I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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