i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize