I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
