My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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