No awkward lesbian experiences without me
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
