She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
