i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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