just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
