dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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