He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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