Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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