Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
