lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize