oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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