Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Randomize
