I seem to have left my pride at pride
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
