how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
