You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
