Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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