Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
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