That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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