Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
