Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
