Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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