Don't you send me to vm
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
