Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize