I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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