I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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