3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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