Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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