video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
