ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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