His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
you're hired as official boob wrangler
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
