My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I think your dad took our porno
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
