Tell her she can't have a vagina
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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