Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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