I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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