I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My hand turned me down
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
