the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize
