no, he came in my armpit
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize