I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
