where am i from again
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Randomize