Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Randomize