it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
We talked him into tasing himself.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
