K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
