Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
