I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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