Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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