This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
