you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
