I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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