I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
