she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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