If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
