RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
