Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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